6 Minutes to read
Last updated: 28th December, 2017
There are many reasons to get angry and the only person who can truly understand and control your anger is yourself. It’s very difficult for someone who needs actions justified to go from that to being able to ignore them and walk away from the situation. Therefore, we’ve written this article not as a “how to guide” on controlling your anger because us telling you what to do isn’t the right way to approach this. We will simply give you some suggestions, advice and open some doors so that you can ultimately come to the decision yourself. More of a “how can you” or “how do you”. So, we’ve put them in subheadings and if something catches your eye, have a read.
The first thing you need to do to control your anger is to first be aware that you’re angry. You don’t actually have to say “okay, what I’m feeling now is anger”. It’s more of a realisation you’re getting angry. By doing this, you understand what ticks you off and you can dissect the situation and find out why it makes you angry. Once you’ve done this, you have to accept your anger. Slowly, you need to decide on your own that you don’t want to be angry for that reason anymore. Anger is said to be like drinking poison and hoping the other person gets sick, not really effective and doesn’t really work, does it? Doing this is the first step to control your anger, the baby steps are what matters at the moment.
Secondly, when people get angry, they usually start to raise their voice in an act of dominance. But think, is getting angry or loud going to change the facts? Just because someone crashed your car, would yelling at them affect your universe or will just accepting it happened, getting their insurance and calmly get it sorted to be a better approach? Of course, if you had someone else in the car such as a baby, you can feel more anger towards that person. People enjoy getting a response. They see it as a subconscious victory for them if you yell back. In situations like this its best to see if everyone is okay and reacting calmly rather than picking up the crowbar. Think of how this small fight will affect your universe. Is beating that person and breaking all their bones in their body worth the repercussions? Just something to think about.
Keep in mind that a distraction is just that, a distraction. It won’t get rid of the anger you feel but it’s a good way to suppress those feelings for a while and for some people that’s enough. Focusing your attention on hobbies or activities can spark joy in the dark cloud of anger and make you forget about the issue.
Finding your distraction is a personal journey. Some people work out because it tires them out, they see results which ultimately help boost their self-esteem and pushing yourself can help your mental and physical self. Meditation is also done by many, the phrase count to 10 and walk away sounds silly but meditation is something many people use to find their inner peace. You realise that in the whole universe of such great feats and importance, this small matter should not affect you in any way and by walking away it makes you the “bigger” person.
Writing down your thoughts and emotions on a piece of paper is a good way to collect your thoughts and vent your anger. You see a lot of music artist who talks about putting their emotions and anger into music and for them, it’s a way to release themselves rather than on someone who did them wrong.
Writing what’s upsetting you, making a list, drawing a picture, whatever it is, seeing it and reading it again can help you navigate yourself to get to the bottom of the issue.
We don’t know what’s going on in everybody’s life. As selfish as it sounds, we don’t care about the life story of someone we don’t know. Taking this into account, you don’t know what stuff that person has going on at home, work or life. For example, if someone cuts you off in traffic, how do you know they aren’t going to the hospital or something of that nature? Most likely the person is angry with or at something else and you just happened to catch them at the wrong time.
Its also a good idea to understand that whatever happened, already happened and now it’s your job to prevent it from happening again. There is no point giving in to threats because why give someone power over you? What do you gain from being equally angry? What do you lose?
What deters individuals from acting out heinous crimes is knowing of the repercussions that come from it. If you get into an argument with someone and you physically attack them, and something bad were to happen and let it be known it happens all the time, you could be charged with a crime. This can result in situations that affect your life.
Think of the bad things you’ve done when you get mad. What were the end results? Bad relationships and even deeper scars. If you were to walk away from the situation and just ignored the situation, would you remember that in a year? No, because your life is worth so much more than that. You have responsibilities, whether they’re big or not to do the best you can do for yourself. To better yourself and benefit yourself and the ones around you. By flushing that down the toilet because you wanted to show them who was the boss, the man, the alpha, you could spend time in jail or with a record that will impact the chances of you having an easy life in the long run.